Monday, 22 February 2010

Go on, enjoy some fingering on me.

Valentine's is over (thank god, I was treated to 7 hours of my man trying to complete Avatar on the PS3 while I tried to get his cock out) and it's still a cold and loveless world.

That is until you get yourself some second base action to the sound of the 'Heavy Petting Mixtape'.

DJ Hotpoint (luvable rogue I want to rub myself off against) and DJ Cable (Santa Baby, PTC single, creator) present a mix CD to rival all others.

Its HACKTUALLY designed for you to listen to while your pum is being pleasured. SWOON.

Download it, and read the tracklisting here >> ERE BLAD

Then go home and either command some roodeboy to play with your va-jay-jay while you listen OR play the masturbato game and see if you can make yourself cream before track 4.

Good Times.

(I totally did NOT forget to write about this on Valentines Day.)

Friday, 19 February 2010

She's a LADDDYYYYY, woah woahhhh, she's a LADY.

Today is a sad day :(

Lady Gaga totally doesn't have a penis.

She's ruined it, I was gonna go shopping with her, look at her boobies, go to celebrity parties and then do sex with her penis.

Now i'll just have to go old school and finger her.

Bad times.

Wednesday, 17 February 2010

Roid Rage

I got a chest infection.

Its so fit, everytime I lie down I cough till I gag like I tried to deep throat Lexington Steele.

I went to the doctor and they gave me ROIDS.


So i'm gonna get BLENCH and have a mini cock like so;

And get biceps bigger than your front room.

And then when I get roid rage I'm gonna go to raves and screwface emcees and bang out P Money (no rapeage, well maybe a little) and then I'll be the baddest fucker around.

So yeay!



Tuesday, 2 February 2010

If you won a million dollars what would you do with it?

I'd get a boob job, buy an extravagant fruit basket, and then pay the ShamWow guy to fuck himself in the ear. And he'd do it, too.

Ask me anything