Wednesday, 25 November 2009

PTC MEETS....... SHIZZLE <3


If there was EVAH one person who personifies everything PTC find frap worthy it is the hwat boy SHIZZLE.


He does grime (swoon), he does Dancehall (double swoon) he has a gold tooth, he’s Jamaican AND he did a tune about PUM PUM SHORTS!




Sooo when I heard he was performing at Hardknock a few weeks ago I was pisssed I couldn’t make it :(

BUT

Not all was lost as I found the perfect medium to try and seduce him 1-on-1 – INTERVIEW!

Hopefully the first in a long line of PTC Meets……

PTC MEETS (aka tries to do sex with) Shizzle


1) Where have you beeeennnnnnn? We missed you! What's been going on?


Well I had to take a lil time away from the music scene as it was getting really hard to balance my personal life with being really bait. I started running into more negative rather than positive situations and before I found myself in too deep I took a step back and made time to put a lot of thought into my plans for the future and if music and all that comes with it was worth my time.


2) And are you back for good now? Don't break our hearts by leaving us again!


I am back bigger and better than ever, ready to take on any challenges thrown at me.. I honestly feel that I've made a transformation for the better because I've always had more to offer but never got the chance to show it in grime due to the restrictions (tempo wise) but now am gonna be touching dance hall also so stay tuned.. Ps. I'll leave the heart breaking to Will-I-am, Shiz is here for as long as the supporters are willing to put up with me.


3) I know you performed @ Hard knock the other week (totally sad I missed the rapeage opportunity!) - How was it being on the stage again?!


I enjoyed every minute of it, the crowd stayed tuned through out so I knew we were keeping them interested. I love to perform and to have a receptive crowd is such a bonus so yeah you missed out on a great night but there's always a next time.


4) We LOOOVVVEEE PumPum Shorts - the favoured item of clothing for the PTC - do you love girls in PPS? Is that why you wrote a tune about them?


Really glad you liked it but unfortunately I cannot take the credit for that track being created because I was just the feature on that one. Discreet suggested that she'd like to do a lil remix of 'Ramping Shop' and the best person to bring the yard style with the right lyrics was me so I got the phone call. I love to see females in PPS, so much I cannot even word it.... Hhytrfreruiioilohgd gguyui

[Hmmm I begin mentally choosing some PPS for Shizzle’s next performance]


5) Lets talk about Camel toe - if you see a girl in her shorts and there is a bit of hoofage - does it turn you on or put you off?


Any man that is turned off by this has definitely gotta get themselves checked, I won't go in too deep but let's just leave it as "nar, it’s definitely NOT a turn off"


[He loves PPS AND Camelhoof – WIN, WIN, WIN]


6) PTC are totally intrigued about your lyric 'Mi buddy thicker dan mi calf' - is this true?! *swoon*


Haha, let's just call that line a lil exaggerated BUT like the song says "I am blesssss... I am blesssss, everyday of my life I am blesssss"

[Praise jah!]


7) We love your lips - (and gold tooth and hot accent) - are you on a lipsing ting?


;) Aww, thank you... * hey mum, thanks (if only you knew what you were creating) lol *. I think lipsing is really quite passionate regardless how sloppy it is, passion isn't something I personally think should be shared with just anyone (but if you meet the criteria, here comes the passion)

[At this point I’m left unable to ask any further questions as my mind has gone off into full on fantasy mode….the lips, the lips….]

You can listen to and watch Shizzle being buff and talented at

www.youtube.com/shizzleno1

In particular check out ‘Uhrah’ and ‘The Greatest’ – my faves.

OMG

I’m more than a little in lovvveeeeee

xxxxxx


Friday, 20 November 2009

Really Logan?!

Logan - your hair troubles me.







You don't fit in with the crew;



Not only are you doing a lame 'thumbs up' sign, not only do you have a terrified look on your face but you're sporting





IN 2009 - THAT'S NOT GANGSTER

Please get a new haircut and stop ruining pictures of fit emcees with your tennis player wigstyle.

Thanks

xx


Ooh try an afro or dreds













Saturday, 14 November 2009

They TRIVVVEE off it.

So about 2 years ago, 2 of my friends went travelling and met some CRAZY Irish guys - and when they came home we went to visit them in ROUNDSTONE, which is a small village in GALLWAY. (Look it up - hype weekend away, truss me)

THEY BE CRAZY.

I coud blog all day about how eff'd up, fun and amusing it was but then I woudn't get to the hacktual point of my story and the reason i'm doing this ere bloggy. So the highlights were;

  • Learning about Brandy&Baileys - this drink will fuck your 'ole life up rooodeboy
  • My friends just stopping me going to a houseparty with a guy we met in the street - he was raving to his own 'head music' and trying to forcefeed me ketamine
  • The Irish version of 'Joey' - "How are youuu doooing?"
  • A guy whistling for his kids, then laughing and claiming they were "Just like dags" when they came running
  • A houseparty where guys were dipping spoons into bags of cocaine - I swear I thought I was in Scarface. Except it was cold, and nobody was wearing open hawian shirts
  • A guy at the above mentioned party making me talk to his dog. "Look into his eyes, he's a clever focker. Ah, talk to him"

ANYWAY....

My point - I did have one, swear down.

So the boys there were JOKES - and the thing that gave me the biggest jokes was the way they say

"WHAT?" - like alllllllll the time bllllaaaddd.

Like this >>> http://www.divshare.com/download/9350923-ce6

I used to call their names just to hear it.

So much so that one time I tried to get them to do it and one of the guys goes >>

http://www.divshare.com/download/9350915-dbd

"Don't be saying it, they TRIVE off it"

Pahahhahahahha I DID - I WAS HYPED OFF THAT SHIIIITTT.

So

MR ANON - CARRY ON POSTING YA HYPE CHAT ON ERE - CARRY ON READING WHAT I WRITE AND GETTING PISSED OFF ABOUT IT.

CAH YOU KNOW WHAT,

I 'TRIVE' OFF IT

xxx

Friday, 13 November 2009

Anons Make the World go Round

HIYA!

"bollox... how much hating on tha girl, how i see it, u cant hate her that much, cuz uve took time out to blog about her, soooo instead of beggin blogpost views by even mentioning her name, i say u go find sumfin else 2blog about u bunch of twats.. i mean, do any of u even have a career, a day job, 9 - 5 .. anything that doesnt revolve around this bullshit blog site? how ridiculous really.. an bout u run tings, lmfaooo which fuckin part.. always gonna be low level, BLOGPOST, bullshitting CRAP... so blog about that bithces"

So basically AHHHH AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Thanks for stopping by, taking some time out and having a read, god I love anons.

Please continue to vent as I love it when we cause offence.

PTC & HOSTILE ANONS- (don't feel left out those with premature menopause) FO LIFE. x

Thursday, 12 November 2009

BUN ERRYTING

So yeah, basically, if you have one of these>>



I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW.

I can't, however, bring myself to tongue the pummi.

FUCK MY LIFE.

xxx

Wednesday, 4 November 2009

Whhhaaa gwan pummies?

So, erm yeah. I haven't blogged in a hot minute.


SO


I shall attempt to catch you up on whats been going on in my life.

First - after due to the rampant success of my pimped snail ( http://camelhoof.blogspot.com/2009/08/all-that-glitters-might-not-be-gold-but.html )
I decided I should move onto something more substantial.

I went to check my mums bredrin as she had just bought some bare small tortoises.

THEY WERE FUCKING SICK.






But they were too small to have too many sequins pon dem PLUS they were £160 EACH. Basikally, I told her to suck out.

So then I went away with my fambily to a place called THE NEW FOREST.


I tried to tek a picture of my dad but when I told him it was going on the CamelHoof blog he started hiding. I should have been ore stealth. Bless his poor picky headtop xx




TBH I dunno why they call it a forest cah its just fields, trees and BAAARRRRREEEE ponies.

LIKE

BARE

Everywhere you go, there are nuff ponies. Imagine Hackney with the roodeboys substituted fi ponies. ITS THAT.

You have to stop the car for them:


AND they jam outside the shops saying "Oi Bruv, lend me a pound?"




The bestest thing about the N.F (not National Front #nationalfrontfidead) was a heavenly invention called "CLOTTED CREAM TEAS"

Imagine if you had a raper at the bar buying you a rum and coke, an emcee spitting about how fit you are and how good your leggings look on stage and a road rooodeboy daggering you to the sounds of Vybz >> THATS how these make you feel.



Erm, them I came home. And this stuff all happened >>

GotdrunkwenttoYazminsnightI'llblogthisseperatelygotdrunkdidntdressupforhalloweenatenuffhalvafeltsickwrotethisbloggychattedsmutpontwittahthenbarepeopleunfollowedmecunts

Lovage

xxxxxx