My secret long-term lover Dj Hotpoint has made a lurvvvely CD for you students/reminiscing bank workers/waitresses to get fucked up to.
Down 6 pints of snakebite, dance around your living room, pass out naked and piss yourself - this is the soundtrack to student life.
Oh, he's gonna do 3 more too - Hip-Hop, Dubstep and Club Classics soon come!
If you don't know about Hotpoint already, quite frankly I'm ashamed of you. Read this 3 question interview immediately, download the mix and remember where you heard it first - this cunt is going places - and I don't just mean down the piss stained tights of Freshers.
Have you ever pissed/shat yourself? I need to reassure people you are qualified to make an album for students.
Every adult has, to some extent, soiled themselves. Everyone who doth protest otherwise is a liar or a bore or both. A boar you might say.
If I said you looked like James Corden would you hold it against me? And by it, I mean ermm..... your peen?
James C comparisons are incessant but not only am I considerably more handsome i'm funnier too, he gets on my nerves. Silly fat cunt. The met need to recognise fat on fat crime. Forget Operation Trident, it's all about Operation Pie-Dent.
Why is your name Hotpoint? You should ram a sparkler down your japseye to be true to your word fi reels!
Hotpoint is a rugby nickname form day - uni. Also, I got drunk once, rugby tackled a broken fridge to the floor in my garden, took out all the shelves and fell asleep in it. It was snowing and bare cold.
And THAT is why we love him so.
Get the mix ere > My cunty mate's mixtape