Tuesday, 29 September 2009

You got a HOOF but are you gonna skank doe?

Us PTC ladies are big fans of exercise. We mainly like to exercise our fingers by sending sexually charged tweets to grime MCs and we also like to exercise our mouths by eating hotrods as regularly as we can, but along with this we also like to indulge in things that leave us short of breath and leave our bodies pumping. Obviously daggering is our FAVORITE pastime but we also enjoy other work outs such as vigorous shopping for leggings that are too small on us (maximise the hoof), walking to KFC to buy the previously mentioned hotrods, decorating our rooms with posters of T.I and Collie Buddz and then doing things that make us break out in a sweat, shaking our hips and batties from side to side and pushing out our breasts at every buff ting to walk by and of course we aren't opposed to a bit of a (seductive) skank.

Ah yes, dancing. After all dancing is not only an excellent way to keep fit but it is also "a vertical expression of a horizontal wish" and all those other prudish ways of saying that dancing is basically sex minus the exchange of bodily fluids (unless you're lucky).

There are only 3 types of dance a PTC girl should aim to master:

1) DANCEHALL QUEEN

If we observe the above we can see that the hoof gets a maximum stretching workout as does the batty likewise. In turn this makes for a more comfortable getting down session which might result from practicing such moves up in the club.

2) BELLY DANCER

Now belly dancers can SHAKE - like a human vibrator. They move their bodies like a snake (hold tight R.Kelly) as well as managing to separate each part of their body so it shakes independently. Mastering bellydance means you'll be able to wriggle your way onto anything and, erm... MULTI-TASK.

3) SALSA SENIORITA

The best bit about salsa is that you need a partner most of the time and a lot of the moves involve legs intertwining and wrapped around your partner - it's basically a warm up of things to come - WIN.


Ballet who? Jazz where? Tap what? If it doesn't involve thrusting, pum pum/cocky contact or full body vibration then it's not dancing. Any other kinds of skanks would just be rude to be honest.

GET TO KNOW THE MOVES TO KEEP THAT HOOF IN SHAPE.

1 comment:

  1. yo i kno this is random but who cares lol, check out our blagspat.. i thin we have similar love for da 'poon' and 'hoof' as u chickas...
    http://cocainet4kidz.blogspot.com/2009/09/this-camel-has-big-toe.html

    safe blad xx

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