Thursday, 16 July 2009

Cherry Poppin'

I've realised that writing your first blog entry is sort of like entering a swimming pool:

On the one hand, you can carefully introduce yourself to it, step by step - OOH COLD! MY NIPPLES! - until you adjust to the temperature... Or you just cut the bullshit and jump, sending your huge ass into the water and, with any luck, crashing into some old butters wearing a swimming cap. (It goes without saying that the second option is the best of the two.)

Even better, you can think of it like losing your virginity: in which case, I've been a frigid bitch, holding off on actually doing the deed (I've been without internet, and Blogger sucks out on iPhone, sorry) but now I'm here, innit! And I'm nervously fumbling around, blindly sticking things in holes, and inevitably I will feel a little confused and vulnerable in the morning.

So PTC, add another notch to your bed-post, because you have violently busted in this blogging hymen. Holla at your girl... and can I have my pants back please? 



  1. I smell the fresh scent of ripped hymen in the air.

    I heart you


  2. I'm calling these blog tags 'tags of the year so far'