Monday, 13 July 2009

Are you one of those?


Ladies, have you ever been on a few dates with a guy, felt that tingling on the inside, only to find out under all that charm and swagger he's one of those? Now don't get me wrong, I feel for all you men out there that lack in the penis department, but accept your *ahem* shortcomings, buy a vibrator and step your sex game up. There's nothing worse than a guy whose equipment can only be described as short and fat, who also thinks that girth is gonna get you there. Because truthfully baby, you can shove that sausage roll in as hard and fast as you like but those moaning sounds you hear aren't from pleasure, but from the uncomfortable sensation of having our pussy lips being pushed in and out at rabbit like speed.

Word of advice for the women: next time you get into the bedroom and see something similar to the picture above, shake your head and say, "I didn't know you were one of those" and walk out that door. You're only looking out for number one, afterall.

3 comments:

  1. LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! LOVE IT!
    FOR EVER A FAN OF YOUR WRITING!
    X

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  2. Yet another side of Sari......

    lol

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  3. Why is it that the gash always get on some cold cock hungry flex every 2 minutes... no shame i got a dick like a babies toe. But at least i can deal with my shame as you callous bitches pile it on thick and fast. But do any of you truelly know how deep your gunt is ??? Nope.. dont get me wrong, we'll tell you its the tightest thing we fucked since the shampoo bottle when we was 13, cos were nice, but the fact is some of you split arses got gash like someone rocking steal toes kicked a hole in the side of a rotting hogs carcus. However even if your pum looks like a rabid Alsatian with a scabby nose and cut throat, we are gentlemanly enough to dig it out without complaints...

    I dont know if the gash has evolved to realise that having gash means your guarentee'd dick and its made you all picky, but mother fuck the spice girls in their girl power ass, you can deal with a dude with a dick like a bag of mince, who is an utter speng and is out for self, cos bucket cunts like you have been hyping him since day.. or you can settle for less and bang a dude whos lacking not packing but will fuck til the sun comes up and goes back down again.. and will chow down on your cunny like a fucking fat kid with happy meal..

    Im now off to crymax over some lezbefreind porn as it has no offensively big plods for me to fail in comparisson with. haha.

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