Thursday, 18 June 2009

Hoof made easy.

It appears that there are a few ladies that have a problem with the content on this site. I think this could be down to a number of reasons:

1) You need to get out more
2) You need to get laid
3) You have too much free time on your hands (try putting that to use and get to know your hoof)
4) You have not yet experienced the sheer unadulterated liberation that comes with sporting your very own camel hoof.

If your answer is 4, allow me to be of service.

I know you may find camel hoof a bit intimidating at first, but once you catch a glimpse of your defined labia in all its glory, and feel that 'it hurts a bit but in a good way' sensation... you'll be wondering why it took you so long to get on the hoof wagon.

To ease you in gently, follow my three step 'Beginners guide to hoof' plan. This plan will enable you to perfect your hoof in the safety of your own home.

Let us begin...


Step 1: Find an old pair of thin jersey bottoms, (PJ's work best)

Step 2: Put them on, and stretch the sides up all the way up onto your shoulders

Step 3: Find a mirror, and admire your hoof in all its glory (if it burns a bit, you got it)


Once you feel comfortable with your hoof, go and buy some leggings (the tighter the better) and pull them up high. This look is best pulled off with a screwface and heels.

Mix things up a little with different fabrics, Jeggings, wet look and animal print work well, but don't forget to have the Canesten to hand.

Now you're ready to hit the streets, go and show the World what you've been hiding all this time.

Enjoy!

2 comments:

  1. LoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooL!!! I CAN'T BREAAATHE!!!

    Step 1 - 3 had me crying! Does this theory work with trousers? Preferably linen?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Linens good for show but it will do you a mischief, mark my words!

    ReplyDelete